Naming Your Protagonist

Hello, again.

Last week I promised I would tell you how to write, and while I can’t (obviously!) give you my whole writers’ course in a blog, I can give you a few good pointers about writing your story.

Above all, you must remember that no matter how exciting, suspenseful, romantic, or shocking a story may be, it is always a story about someone! Not about a treasure, a kingdom, a car chase, an explosion, or a box of chocolates. A story is always and forever about a character. And so it follows that most importantly for the sake of the story, you, the writer, must know your character.

So many times, young writers come to me with this sort of a pitch, “I got this guy, see, and this is a great story, you're gonna love it, lots of car chases and this big explosion, and crashes and stuff, and—“

I already don’t love it. I don’t even like it.

It’s like listening to—or reading—a really bad weather report.

Who is the character all this is written about? Someone called “this guy.” Not even a name. I get the creepy feeling that this writer may not even know it.

Who is “this guy?” Why am I supposed to be interested in what he’s doing or what happens to him? Why do I care? For pity’s sake, writer, give me his name!

Is he Uriah Heep? Then I won’t expect him to be a hero. In fact, his very name turns me off of the character, though not off of the story. What kind of a story needs someone named “Uriah Heep”? I am intrigued, and I read on.

Well, what if his name is Charles Pennington Brentwood? Okay, I already know he’s not an oil rig worker. Not a ditch-digger. Not a ranch hand. “L’il Smokey” Johnson? Sounds like he’s a cool dude who blows a hot horn. Pete Cooper? Another All-American boy. Nandi K. Pakranishan? Could be a doctor, an IT specialist, a scientist. Again, I am willing to read on.

But you see wehre I’m going with this, I think. When you give your Reader a Protagonist’s (hero’s) name, you are already setting up an expectation in the Reader’s mind.

Be careful how you name your characters; a fellow named John Beverly Rawlings-Smythe is not necessarily going to be my first choice for an infantry sergeant. Joe Garrett will be selected instead to lead a tough squad of seasoned soldiers. (A caveat, here: there are hundreds or thousands of fine British soldiers with elegant names who are easily as tough as any Americans or Aussies, and I am certainly not denigrating anyone.)

The trouble is, Readers are attuned to certain names being associated with certain endeavors, and while sometimes the most vicious serial killer might be named “Percy Goodyshoes.” I guess. I just have a really hard time believing it—or in the story that talks about him. It just doesn’t follow in the general scheme of things; not for most writers, at any rate.

Think as hard about naming your characters, young writer, as you would about naming your child. After all, in a very real sense, Charles Dickens is the “father” of Ebenezer Scrooge.” Agatha Christie gave birth both to “Miss Marple” and to “Hercule Poirot.” Dr. Seuss engendered “The Cat in the Hat” and “Sam-I-Am” and “Horton”, too.

What will you name your literary “child”?

Last week, I suggested that you write down everything you could think up about your Protagonist. This week, I’m going to ask you to name him.

Study lists of name, titles of books; scan magazines and newspapers (but don’t lift any real person’s names, because using them can get you into court, facing a libel suit that any lawyer would salivate over.)

Use only one name, either a given name or a family name (again, nothing like “Trump”, “Rockefeller”, or anything—anything!—familiar or recognizable. And please, no lady singers named “Lena Lerner,” or "Bina Burner" or Nina Nerner." Your Reader's not stupid. Don't use “Milady,” either (that’s what Madonna means in Italian.) Make up your own names.

Use some discretion and all that great talent you have got. And you have, or you wouldn’t be trying to find out how best to demonstrate it!

By the way, just a side note: since “he” and “him” are the default proper-English adverbs indicating any member of the race called “Man,” I always use the “male default.” I hope I don’t offend anyone, but if I do, I’m terribly sorry; and I hope you get over it without any ill effects. I suspect you will.

A good writer always obeys the basic rules of grammar, whether he likes them or not, until he is competent enough to try to change them; and so shall we.

See you next week, when we’ll talk about relating with your Protagonist.

Until then.

Lang out.